While the water heats, cover the 3 eggs with 1 inch of cold water in the saucepan and bring to a full boil over high heat. Cover the pan, remove it from the heat, wait 12 minutes, then move the eggs to the ice water until the shells feel cold.

Stir the macaroni into the boiling water and cook it 1 to 2 minutes past the package time, usually 9 to 10 minutes. A piece should bend easily with no white, chalky center.

Drain the macaroni and rinse it under cold running water for 1 minute, tossing it by hand. Shake the colander for 10 seconds and drain 2 minutes, until the pasta feels cold with no water dripping.

Peel the eggs and chop them into 1/4-inch pieces. The yolks should look pale yellow and set all the way through.

Whisk the dressing ingredients in the large bowl for 30 seconds. Taste it and add a pinch of salt if needed, until the dressing looks smooth, light cream in color, and slightly loose.

Add the celery, onion, bell pepper, relish, and eggs to the dressing, then fold in the macaroni in 20 slow turns, scraping the bottom as you go. Every noodle should look evenly coated with no dry pockets.

Cover and refrigerate at 40°F or below for at least 2 hours. Stir before serving and loosen with 1 to 2 tablespoons of milk if it looks tight, until the salad looks glossy and spoons out in soft, creamy scoops.