Pulse the 36 Oreos in a food processor for 20 to 30 one-second pulses, until the crumbs look like dark, fine sand with no piece bigger than a grain of rice.

Beat the cream cheese in a large bowl on medium speed for 1 minute, until smooth with no lumps.

Add the crumbs and mix on low for 1 to 2 minutes, until the dough looks like thick, dark clay with no white streaks.

Scoop with a 1 tablespoon scoop and roll each portion between your palms for about 10 seconds. Place the balls 1/2 inch apart on a lined sheet until you have 36 smooth, crack-free rounds.

Freeze the tray for 20 minutes, until the balls feel cold and firm and do not dent when pressed. Do not exceed 30 minutes.

Combine the chocolate chips and oil in a deep microwave-safe bowl. Microwave on 50% power in 30-second bursts, stirring after each, for 2 to 3 minutes total, until glossy and flowing in a thin ribbon.

Take 6 balls from the freezer and drop one in the chocolate. Roll it with a fork, lift it out, and tap the fork on the rim 3 times.

Slide the ball onto parchment with a toothpick, leaving a thin, glossy coat with a tiny puddle at the base. Add sprinkles within 30 seconds, while the coating is wet.

Repeat with the remaining balls in batches of 6. Refrigerate the tray for 20 minutes, until the shell turns matte and snaps when tapped.